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At This Point, I’m Ready for Amazon to Just Spoon Feed Me Consumerized Bliss

At This Point, I'm Ready for Amazon to Just Spoon Feed Me Consumerized Bliss

At this point, I am fully prepared for Jeff Bezos to walk into my apartment, tell Alexa to put on a lullaby, hand me a warm bottle, and pat my head until I fall asleep. Weird? Yes. Inevitable? Probably.

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News broke this week that Amazon filed a trademark for “prepared food kits composed of meat, poultry, fish, seafood, fruit and/or and [sic] vegetables…ready for cooking and assembly as a meal” in early July, indicating its intent on dominating the meal kit sector. And right on cue, stock prices for Blue Apron plummeted 9.4 percent, Gizmodo reports. Their shares are now valued at just $6.66, which is less than half of what they were initially valued, and also ironically way less than what a Blue Apron meal for two costs. This news comes right on the heels of Amazon’s announced acquisition of Whole Foods and its biggest Prime Day yet. Bezos is definitely interested in putting a gadget in your hand, a show on your (Fire enabled) television, and a meal in your mouth.

Amazon even has a catchy tagline for its soon-to-be prepared meal kit product: “We do the prep. You be the chef.” Well, you be the chef until someone figures out how to bring a chef to you, turns their idea into an innovative start-up, and then gets swallowed by Amazon. Or is that just take-out food? Either way, meal kits suck the fun out of cooking, and also just kind of suck in general. So, sorry, Blue Apron, but Amazon has entered the arena.

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